I’m Still Tired Dr.”

I want to say I feel I have had a busy journey over the past few years.That being said I will clarify. I went to my Primary Dr. Complaining of getting sick too often. Sinus infections, Flu, Being tired and a lump in my throat that wouldn’t go away.
She felt my throat, asked me if when I swallowed did it feel like something was stuck in my throat. I said Yes! She ordered some tests 1) Ultra sound ... Abnormal Ultrasound and suspicious nodules. Ok Breathe. 2) Biopsies They came back cancerous so 3) Removal.

When someone says Cancer ? It’s scary as hell I don’t care how brave and strong you are ?It’s just scary.  Before you have surgery friends and family say things to console you . Like Well if there’s any kind of cancer to get this is the one! It’s cureable! Um? It’s Cancer , I am scared to death.
Surgery day nice and early my mother flew up from South Carolina :)  I have prepared myself emotionally as well as I could, and get to the hospital and We are waiting and waiting only to find out the Dr has an emergency Transplant he had to do. Ok, next day surgery.. Early am, before I go in I kiss my Mother She gave me the most sense of ease in the Crappiest time .

Out of surgery, My Thyroid was Mush it just fell apart. Send it off to the lab and it comes back Two different types of Cancer Simple Cell  Typical , and Tall Cell (aggressive) . Whew Thank G-d it’s out.. Radiation, body Scans  hair loss , sleeplessness, weight gain, depression, Dry mouth , Metal taste , Special Diets , Medication for life, Tiredness, Insomnia, Thrown Into Menopause, Carpal Tunnel.
But out of all of the Cancers? This is the one to get!

I forgot to mention that prior to my cancer diagnosis I was in a bad car accident with my Boyfriend and Young Daughter (3). They were(ok), Some Residual Effects from the accident Back issues and pain.  And I was cut out of the car with 4 fractures of my ribs , punctured Left lung , collapsed dashboard on my legs , a hole in my leg and we were hit by a police officer in a SUV . Speeding, No lights, No Siren T-Boned my family.
I was carried away in an ambulance and they tried to get me for leaving the scene of an accident and put a warrant out for me , I had to turn myself in.
My bones were still fractured and still in pain and then had my Thyroid removed.. 2014 ? Not a good year ! See Ya! Wouldn’t wanna be ya I’m out Man don’t look back.. A year plus of monthly court hearings to fight this officer who of course says he was innocent and never even bothered to show ONCE . I finally got the charges Expunged. Thanks to a great court appointed Lawyer.
Years of Spinal damage, Nerve Damage, Migraines, Spinal Injections, Impending Shoulder Surgery , No medicine (My choice) Horrible pain in rain , cold , snow. Sitting , Laying, Standing, This is no Quality of life.
I file for Disability, Turned down, Applied again 2 years later I receive what I’m waiting for.

This brings us to now—- Still tired I go to my Dr . Chronic Sinus infections, Spinal pain , Aching Joints, Constipation,Weight Loss(Un-Intentional) Even though I’ve struggled with a double whammy against my efforts of losing weight.. Hypothyroidism and over 40 , Now Menopausal. This has GOT To Be A Joke right?? Not getting better , abnormal Labs ..
Referred to an Oncologist.. Huge Gulp, Ok? 11 viles of Blood , Bone Marrow Test, MRI WContrast and Full Skeletal XRay.
Legion on my Spine, Cysts in my Kidney,Small Fatty Mass in my Neck, Comcerns of IGa Proteins high Light Chains out of whack. What will be? I have no Idea .... What I do know? Is what ever this is? I’m going to kick it’s ASS and take names so whatch OUT CANCER !!! I’m coming for ya! I have children and family and friends I need to live on for . I’m not done yet I have lots to do :)

What Is A "Good Woman / Partner'

Is the definition a woman that is subservient ? A woman with no voice? Obeys, follows behind her man instead of holding her mans hand walking side by side? Listening to her man, helping him ? Supporting him emotionally , financially? Does she have values? Is she kind? Does she enjoy life? People, Children, Does she make sacrafices for you?
Every one has their own opinion on what a good person, and woman or man is...

Anyone can do laundry, and cook for you .. That does not define a good partner.

To me if you can count on that person to not do you wrong, or dirty ...  Trust them nomatter what, to hold your hand while walking through the path of life, love, happiness , sadness, losses, and gains. Support during Sickness and being unsure about yourself and life and all of it's many decisions? That is a person worth fighting for , and hold on to them because they are rare..

You might think that we pick our significant other , I think whoever that may be is a gift that was meant to be if it is healthy and lasts.. I think cherishing yourself enough to believe that you are worthy of goodness and kindness and love is important .

My mother taught me that amongst many other things, if you have not found yourself a good partner, think about why you keep chosing the same kind of person.. That you need to believe that you are worth more and better than what you keep settling for..

But that is anything in life, not just a partner.

What IS a Good Woman/ Partner

Happy Mother's Day

So to my Friends and Family wherever your travels take you this weekend,enjoy your Mother's Day celebrate you for 

being you-For being the undeniable constant rock and your kids biggest fan..Go You! You are needed ,Loved, 

Appreciated, 

and special you are Mom.


Happy Mother's Day❤❤❤💕💓❤❤

I'm not perfect

I need you to help teach me if I make mistakes.... Because I'm not perfect. I wear my hair up in a bun, I carry extra weight, I bare scars from children and surgeries... I laugh loud, I am patient to a fault, I wear my heart on my sleeve, I care too much.
All of these things are what make me ME. These are things that you loved about me when we met, And now not so much. Why?
Why do you have less patience with me? Why are you irritated by me? Why don't we laugh together like we used to?
I laugh loudly because it comes from deep inside and I mean it... Like the love I share, It comes from deep in my soul and you've betrayed it... By it' I mean my love and trust.
Once you do this to me I am done-- Broken, But I am strong, and I will pick myself back up , Dust my self off and pray for the strength and keep going. Because you can't keep me down. I am stronger than this and I will be ok. I am not perfect...