Life Is Good

Today like everyday , I am Grateful. I am middle aged, I am over all healthy with some minor bumps and bruises I am here  alive and kickin. I have all my limbs, all my wits, healthy children and Parents and an amazing man.
What do I have to complain about? Not a Damn thing.. I am happy in love and appreciated, Rich in Love , Family  and Values. I am at peace in my life, my soul and am glad to be an American.
Going down south to see my family for a mini vacation see you on the other side <3

Good Morning,

As you sit on the edge of your bed, rub your hands over your face and clean the sleep from your eyes and run your fingers through your hair I want you to not think about today as a stressful day. No matter what comes your way Breathe, Take it easy, enjoy life your freedom the people in your life and all that you have . Because you just never know.. Tell those you love in your life how much you love them hug them love your self, and forgive your self for mistakes that you have made . Because holding onto resentment and to things that you could have done differently? Can't be changed, Let 

Go... , Be..  Do... Love yourself and others..
Smile often, Take a chance today on something you normally wouldn't. Try something you never have before like a new food.
Be yourself No matter what. Because today is good day :)

There's No Manual that gets you ready for recovery from cancer. I wish they had one, that would be amazing.. But they don't so you are left on your own to learn and deal with all of the issues that come up  as you go along. It's very humbling I have to say. It isn't something that I like to talk about in great detail, But lately I feel like it is a crucial part of MY recovery emotionally , and Physically to talk about it.
I knew because it was on paper that I would have dry mouth, and a weird taste in my mouth, But the things that are deeper like at the age of 44 I'll get thrown into early Menopause, the tiredness that doesn't go away heavy legged, hair loss, that after a complete thyroidectomy and radiation that I would lose my teeth, that My sense of smell and taste have diminished.
All things that you can not really prepare for you are just thrown into the fire so to speak and we all cope differently.

My coping has on occasion been put off, and by that I mean as a mother you are looked upon by your husband and children as the strong one who is strong and family sometimes has  problems coping with you not being strong. I fought Cancer, and it looks like so far? I'm kicking it's ASS so I feel stronger than I have I a while.

The journey isn't over I have a bit more to go, but since I am busy convincing my children and husband that I am ok "I'll be fine" Sometimes you lose track of your recovery or the feelings that come along with it.
It's ok to cry, to still be scared I found out, and  I have a huge amount of gratitude for life and my family.
I will say this and no offense to anyone that has told someone you love and respect this-- A cancer survivor does not ever want to hear " Well, as far as cancers go thyroid cancer is the best one to have!! " NO.... I'm scared to death, Do Not minimize what I feel by telling me that  . I have all kinds of things I am going through physically  now and will be for how ever long and as far as I am concerned? The best kind of CANCER to have? IS NO CANCER :)
Thanks For Listening-- Feel Free to Add your comments

Adoption

Is a gift of Love,

To the child to whom the parent or parents can not take care of him or her.. Maybe because they are to young? Or perhaps money is an issue, family dynamics, situations are different and sensitive all the same. One can not know, assume or appreciate the situation in which one needs to consider adoption as an option, until they have gotten there.


It is for some? Rescuing their child. An Unselfish act to think of the child first above their own feelings to make sure that the child has what he or she needs and has a safe  home and stability.
Scared? Or be scared to do it all alone? Be in an abusive situation no one knows ... What I do know? Is that it is a huge act of love, and can complete a family who has been aching for a child and can not have one.

And on the other hand the other side of the coin is that there are so many women who can not have children , and want so desperately the opportunity to have and raise a child. Who have so much to offer but yet have physical issues and can't. Or perhaps the husband can not?  Or maybe it is a same sex couple.. Everyone should have a chance and yet have so many problems in the process.


What ever the circumstances may be, there are so many  parents and children who need to be connected for it is destiny..
I am all for it, I was adopted.. And I placed for adoption.  I have had a beautiful life, ups and downs as any family but a great life. Parents that picked me loved me were and are good to me to the grand children. What else could I ask for?
Culture, family trips, music, sports, unconditional love humor, good healthy environment I had it all. Beautiful :)

Laughter

It is the souls natural medicine..

And I know when we are really feeling down , and crappy hurt, betrayed .. The last thing we want to do is laugh. But when we do laugh? There is just something about the way that it makes us feel. Right?  When we truly laugh, not a giggle or under our breaths, but belting out laughing.

There has actually been studies about laughing did you know that?
It has literally been proven to help relieve stress, help release healthy triggers for healing  the body it makes us smile, and feel good.

There is something I have always tried to do , since I was young.. Make someone smile , or laugh. I love the feeling I get seeing the whole demeanor of someone change after I have helped them smile or laugh :)  It is an amazing feeling.. Laughter binds people together, I have bonded with many helping them feel better..

I want to be the Laughter Dr. Lol! Is that possible? And I don't mean comedian. Too much pressure, coming up with new material, things that people connect with and think is funny ya know?

So try to laugh as often as possible, enjoy people around you. And if someone else needs a laugh? Help give that to them they might really need it. Til next time .....

What Will They Remember?

Is it your smell? Smile, Laugh? Or the way you console them when they are sick? Or sad? The way you hug? The goofy quirky things you do? How you get silly with them?
The favorite place that you go with them? A book? A song that you sing them at bed time?

A favorite song ? Concert, or Movie? Or maybe,... It's the family dinners together, you going to family night at school, getting them from school when they really needed them. A hand to hold, A Look , A nod..

A bike ride, Walk, Park, Vacation.. Whatever it is they will never forget they will eventually appreciate  and will always Love you.

It's there in their being human able to be their own person, get lost to find their way back again...

What will they remember?

Someday I'll Do it....

Have you said? I know I have, Of course you have.. Everyone does! After all that is what adolescence is all about dreaming wishing and hopes . It's what gets us through childhood, pubescence and adult hood I don't care who you are . I find it almost necessary ,if not? How do we aspire to be great? To become ? Anything? An artist , musician, doctor, mother , father construction foreman, Ceo, whatever?

I have a few favorite Someday I'll do its. One is (And some people call this a Bucket List ;) )
One is  driving across Country in an RV and stopping along the way to see whatever we want to see, National Parks, The Largest Frying Pan, The Biggest Rubber band Ball, Largest Cookie Whatever! And another is to jump out of a perfectly good Airplane! Yes you read correctly, I have to ! Why not?
Singing on stage is another... But I can't really sing LOL so that won't be happening anytime soon.

So my question is, What about you? What do you "Some day " Hope you will do? I can not wait to hear the responses Thanks for Listening!

Got A New Tatoo Today

I love tattoos, I do... I am a Mother and I do not dress promiscuously I am laid back and artistic and am a respectable person. A lot of people look down upon tattoos and piercings.. I think if that is the way that you want to express your self? Go for it, I also think that it depends on your profession too.

That being said when I got my first tattoo I was 20, And I made sure that it meant something to me. It symbolized freedom , and Individuality to me. I waited many years to get a second one, and that as well means something to me. It means forever Love for my children and the man in my life.

Then 5 more years, I got my third, and this is mine and my partner's Birth years together but in Roman Numerals... I Love It!!

Respectable, nothing tacky or big... I think that art is accepted much more in the society of Now, and people don't gasp anymore They are actually curious and try to take time to understand it, look at it and appreciate it. Which is always a good thing.

Art is art, whether it is on your body (canvas) or a cloth canvas. So many more people have tattoos than ever before, I know it's a trend, but it has been trending and exploded!! I will continue to appreciate  body art . Got a new tattoo today that I Love!

Fashion

Ok, so this is boots weather ladies! Woohoo! Yes Finally get to break these bad boys out, got them on sale at the end of last season, and now the time has come! Boots Boots Boots Boots! Love me some boots, with skirts and leggings..

Over sized Sweaters, Shirts, Cute scarves... This is my weather, my favorite. Not hot, not cold .. A few warm days randomly thrown in yessss! Enjoy your boots and leggings and sweaters Ladies! For it is Fall :)

Adventures

They can be anything......

And when you have children, it's everything. Almost every outing can be made an adventure. And I think that is why we have so much fun when we're out together. It can be small little things that make the imagination wake, and have the kids wide eyed and excited.
If you live in a city, not the suburbs and you drive? Why not take the train? Or a bus? It's just turned into an adventure  as their brains are hungry for information, you are feeding them with knowledge to their questions..

Same with a park with trails, take a random walk get out there and turn your phones down and get the perfect walking stick and walk together. Pick wild flowers look down at some water look for fish, skip rocks talk about the trees. Give them the opportunity to love it as you do and appreciate nature.. It starts early and they will love it.

You're in a car? Play car games looking for color license plates, different states, Pepsi, Coke trucks. Life is an adventure after all go on ! Look, see ,smell, smile :)

I dedicate this post to You...

One does not know when you meet someone (generally) if he,/she is THE ONE". I will say that I felt it the minute I saw him, I was intrigued and needed to know more right then and there. I definitely was the pursuer.  My heart dropped" and I got this feeling , I just knew...

You might not agree, but I left my husband for this man ... Years later after my feeling was affirmed and we built a healthy strong beautiful relationship. But Yes I left and it was the best thing I could have done. I am happy, truly happy . He is a considerate , giving, and an unselfish man , and lover and an amazing father. There were in the beginning moments of doubt, until I really knew him and I don't doubt his intentions any longer.

No one "Knows" if this will last forever . Love, but one can hope and that we make the best of our relationship while we have it. People make mistakes, and things happen along the way. We learn from each other and grow together, if we don't and we aren't better people with the person we love then unfortunately I feel it's time to go.

There are situations where it is difficult to leave when you want , or need to. But you can't right away (been there). Be it's a money situation, abuse situation and you have to set up a safe place first I get that. But if and when you can? Do it, because it doesn't change... It only escalates and gets worse Only Once" turns into time after time .. Believe me been there too, But get out while you can you will gain your confidence back. You will see' after you are out of the situation just how unhealthy it really was once you have removed yourself from the sick environment you were in.

And if there is kids involved? They are helpless in this situation and stuck until you have enough courage to change the mess you're all in. So gather all of the strength that you possibly can if not for you? For those kids of yours and do it. Plan, gather , and save... Important things you need should be some where safe with someone you can trust... And Get out.

And then do not jump into a relationship until you have had a chance to heal you and your kids.
Love you first, invest in bonding with your children they are resilient, they will bounce back, but they need time too. And they will be forever grateful.

Unhealthy versus Healthy? I'll take healthy any day I am forever grateful for the man I ,We have in our life. I feel beautiful anyway but he makes me feel beautiful too.  The way he looks at me, the laughing we do together, he still checks me out" He notices the little things, He just knows, and makes sure that I am ok...
 I am safe and I know that I am loved :) Baby, I dedicate this to you-----

Which One?

Mountains? Or Beach? East or West Coast? Summer, Spring,Winter or Fall ?
Car, or Bike? Women or Men ? What kind of Politics? Music?  Traditional, Classic?  Religion? Religious or not?

Are you chill? Or Uptight? 
Are you business oriented? DO you drive take the bus or train? Maybe you ride your bike to get around..

Kids? No Kids and if no Why? City? Country? House, Big or Small? Apartment? Do you cook? Does he? What are the little things that mean the most to you that a significant other does with you? For you? What is your passion? Have you found it yet?

Just Curious,

These are things that have run through my mind. And I wonder  :)

What if This Isn't It?

Have you ever day dreamed about what if? What if after we live our beautiful lives full and happy as we can be and it is our time what next? What happens then? Does it all come down to each persons faith? Or is it more than that? Is it a faith thing at all?

Do we have to be religious or believe in a higher power to come back as something, or someone else? As an animal or some other form of life? One does not know, but I believe that it is healthy and productive to think there IS something else after life...

How would we know? Life as we know it on this planet is over until it is time for us to live again .. And so for now, the forever learning and curious me will continue to wonder "What If"....

Because I can :)

Discipline

How far would you go to discipline your children? How much is enough? What is too little? Love for our children is genuine.. Un conditional, and it is necessary to look out for our children. They are not always going to like us, and that is ok because we're not doing it right if they aren't angry at us from time to time. Right? After all, you can't be friends" With your child/dren until they are much older and realize what our true purpose is here in life. That our sole existence is not to serve them and for them to take us for granted... Right?

So that being said, I am curious as to how far would you go to lay into your kids to protect them either in the now, or for protection in the near or far future ? It is a valid question... I would really appreciate your stories, and sharing your experiences with me .. Tell me where and what, and why's.

Kids of all ages, Need Discipline.

On The Catwalk

We have a Dog that thinks that he is a cat, and a Cat that thinks that he is a dog... I did not expect this at ALL! It is funny to see them together, you can tell that in their short time together they really are like brothers. I could not have asked for better pets..

So I suppose after the cat watching for so long he has picked up the interest for a walk" by seeing the dog go out on a leash. So We got a collar, and a leash for Mr. Meowgy and joked around about the idea before we actually took it and the cat seriously. It's a big step committing to taking the cat out on a leash ya know?!

So this is it , THE day!
We put a leash on this smart boy, he flops over and plays dead... It's a no GO PEople! We try again, He does not want to leave the house. We try again he goes out front but bucks like a mini bronco because he isn't used to the leash.

But finally we put the leash on him, and he walked on his own..No Pulling, no dragging a limp cat he walked as if he had been walking on a leash his whole life(1 Yr ) of it haha.
It felt great! And Mr. Meowgy looked around, and crouched down real low stalking birds and listening to all of the sounds around him taking in the earth and then he rolled around in the dirt.

When He was done, I gave him a bath right away so we don't have a problem with fleas ..He fought me and tried everything to get out of that tub! Apparently he does not like baths but I did it quickly and got him all cleaned up and wrapped him up like a little baby in 2 Towels. It is amazing that I still have skin left on my arms!
The next day we took him for a walk, he tried to run out and get away from us, not realizing that there was a leash attached to him and we were holding onto the other end.

We let him lead us to where he wanted to go, as opposed to us taking him.. And it seemed like he knew exactly where he was going. We walked him and the dog Huggy  Bear together..I can only imagine the looks we were getting but I didn't care! We were having so much fun. On The Catwalk

We Live on

In our children...Through their eyes , their smiles, as they grow and become adults.. It's the reason why we procreate right?  To carry on our names, our gene pools..
 As they go to school , work , get married and have children of their own, We live on.. Happily to see them happy and healthy, Productive members of society my eyes well up just thinking about the possibilities of where their journeys will take them.

Hoping that along they way they are good to people, and in return people are then good to them. Generosity , Kindness, Compassion finds them  and they are genuine..

That they have some challenges along the way but that generally they have easy lives not cold hard tough lives... All struggles are real, Whether they are Mentally, Physically, or Emotionally, Financially.

When we are gone, We Live On...

Grand Children

What sweet little human beings they are...
I feel so fortunate to be a Grandma , and to be close enough geographically to see my Grand daughter on a regular basis and see how she is growing and see her mind at work.. It is humbling and
beautiful :)

The special people they are and the joy and pride I get from our relationship growing is like no other. She is my first, won't be my last as I have four children. The first of many to come and I am really looking forward to it!

Is that how you felt? When you became a Grand parent?

True Happiness

I have had my share of failed relationships... As we all have,  and I could and would never try to only place the blame on the other person. As we live and experience things and learn what we really want for our own lives, and what we then want in and out of a relationship it is a cool transition as well.

So once we have figured all of that out{ I feel fortunate to have done that} As some people don't. Or late in life have not still... And maybe that is what they prefer, or they had no choice due to their own lifes  experiences.. I have, and I am grateful.

I will say it feels damn good! It feels good that I can let me hair down and not have to portray someone I am not... It feels great that as I wake and look my worst, lol  I am not judged , funky breath, sleep in the eyes, smeared make up if I wore any the day prior...I can go to the bathroom with the door open, I can be me and he loves me for me ..  My weight fluctuations, Hospital  and medical issues.. He never ceases to amaze me.

The kisses on the forehead, the un divided attention even with kids! The feeling of being safe no matter what and being appreciated are to die for!!! It's better and sweeter than all of my favorite entree's and desserts and dream places to go and famous people to meet wrapped up all in one :)

I can appreciate and be appreciated... And the laughs are endless he's a keeper people! And I know it's mutual  so there ya have it I have found THE ONE"

Couldn't be more extactic :)

In the Eye Of The Beholder

Beauty comes in many forms...(In my opinion) It is not always topical, and on the outside.. I have seen and known some visually beautiful people on the outside. Men and women, and they have turned out to be so very ugly.. Ugly in that they will not share of themselves, personally, monetarily, physically, or materialistically.
 
And then there are others, who are not visually beautiful. And yet they are beautiful in that they want to share... Of themselves, emotionally , physically, mentally, monetarily, materialistically, they are just happy ,in general with life, with them selves.. It amazes me--- Really :)

And when some one has a beautiful mind, body & soul all seems in sync with what should be. I don't know what the difference is honestly is it religion? Upbringing? What do you think it is? I don't know if I want to necessarily figure it out I am just sharing an opinion for an opinion.

Clean Scan Result

That's RIGHT FOLKS!! I after another RAI Treatment  in preparation for another body scan, and weeks of slugging (No Really) Slugging through not taking my thyroid medicine in preparation for the body scan have taken all of my doctors orders..

I have traveled with Children across country with out being on Thyroid medication and been exhausted and traveled down south and my family has been very understanding and patient with me and we have great results this scan!

It proves to be a very emotional journey , but helps me grow... I really just want this over with, all of it the other four years of having to go through the same thing to be considered in remission... But I am so very grateful that I do not have to go through Kemo therapy So I will count my blessings where they lay and run with them! Very HAPPY.

I Thank the Beautiful Butterfly who gave me the sign that I asked for on Friday as I lay in the scanner and Saturday got my Un official answer from above :) This Creature cut me off Saturday, and landed right in front of me... I went shopping  and on my way back home she was still there! Any way, Anyone who has had to go through this Is going through this, or will go through it.. Just somehow know that it will be ok :)